EDIT: Apparently the band’s being replaced due to Experian, the parent company of FreeCreditReport, forcibly changing the brand name to “FreeCreditScore.com” Here ya go. Oh yeah, sorry about how the video flashes occasionally, I tried my best but I just couldn’t fix it. Deal with it. Lyrics: New Job/Pirate Restaurant Commercial: They say a man should always dress For the job he wants, so Why’m I dressed up like a pirate In this restaurant? It’s all because some hacker Stole my identity Now I’m in here every evening Serving chowder and iced tea Shoulda gone to: Free credit report dot com Yee-haa! I coulda seen this coming at me like an atom bomb They monitor your credit and send you email alerts So you don’t end up selling fish to tourists in T-shirts Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage. Dream Girl: Well I married my dream girl I married my dream girl But she didn’t tell me her credit was bad So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb We’re living in the basement at her mom and dad’s. No we can’t get a loan For a respectable home Just because my girl defaulted on an old credit card If we’d gone to free credit report dot com I’d be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard. Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage. New Car: Well I was shopping for a new car, which one’s me A cool convertible or an SUV? Too bad I didn’t know my credit was whack ‘Cause now I’m driving off the lot in a used sub-compact. FREE, that spells free- Credit report dot com, baby …

EDIT 4: Uploaded “All 9 FreeCreditReport.Com Commercials.” So go watch it with the 3 new commercials added to the collection. Now. www.youtube.com EDIT 3: You know, you don’t have to remind me that there are new commercials out. In fact I uploaded them, so I think I would know. I’m waiting for all the new commercials to come out BEFORE I make another collaberation. So yeah. Shut up about the new commercials. EDIT 2: Added the lyrics as annotations on the video. Now you don’t have to look in the description for the lyrics!!! Be careful though, the annotations jump around the video a lot so keep your eyes open! EDIT: Oh my God!!! Fine!!! Here are the freakin lyrics! Now stop spamming me with the constant comments and messages to put the lyrics!!! New Job/Pirate Restaurant Commercial: They say a man should always dress For the job he wants, so Why’m I dressed up like a pirate In this restaurant? It’s all because some hacker Stole my identity Now I’m in here every evening Serving chowder and iced tea Shoulda gone to: Free credit report dot com Yee-haa! I coulda seen this coming at me like an atom bomb They monitor your credit and send you email alerts So you don’t end up selling fish to tourists in T-shirts Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage. Dream Girl: Well I married my dream girl I married my dream girl But she didn’t tell me her credit was bad So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb We’re living in the basement at her mom and dad’s. No we can’t get a …

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Youngsters wanting to make blizzards of money got valuable advice from financier Warren Buffett who was visiting his local Dairy Queen for the launch of the new Girl Scouts Thin Mint Blizzard. Surrounded by a group of Girl Scouts in his hometown of Omaha, Buffett offered this tip for college students: “The biggest suggestion I have is to avoid credit cards. Interest rates are very high on credit cards. Sometimes they are 18 percent. Sometimes they are 20 percent. If I borrowed money at 18 or 20 percent, I’d be broke. . . . So if I had one piece of advice for young people generally it would be to just avoid credit cards,” he said. And what advice does Buffett have for a new investor? “I would do a lot of reading before I invested,” he replied. “In other words I would prepare for it. I wouldn’t jump in the water until I know how to swim. . . .I read every book the Omaha Public Library had about investing by the time I was 11.” On qualities Buffett looks for in employees? “The biggest thing I look for is if they have a passion for whatever they are going to do,” he said.